As part of me going to live up in Glasgow and work for Re:Hope Next Generation Church I have raise financial support. Honestly… sometimes it gets me pretty nervous. The prospect of not having the money I need and being unable to pay bills, or rent, or not having enough money for food scares me.

I’ve sent out support letters to family and friends - which seems very foreign to me - not sure what to expect. The whole idea of raising support and relying on other people and especially God is something I’ve not really had to do before.

I take confidence in the fact that I feel this is something I feel God has called me to do. I trust in Him and his plan for me - even if I don’t know what that is. I have faith that he is going to provide for something that He’s called me to.

I hate the idea of ‘wimping’ out. I hate the idea of changing my plans or having a safety net ‘just in case it doesn’t work out’. You can’t be a ‘wimpy’ or ‘cowardly’ Christian. We have to be strong and courageous - especially when it comes to walking into the unknown.

I’m totally overwhelmed by the support I’ve recieved. Don’t get me wrong… I’ve still got a fair bit to go… but I can’t get over the fact that people who can’t really afford to give me money are in fact giving me the largest gifts or donations.

I recently recieved a card in the mail with a cheque inside from friends I’ve not seen in a fairly long time, who quoted J.Hudson Taylor … “God’s work done God’s way will not lack God’s supply.”

- In the process of becoming a courageous christian… who steps out into the unknown - with a certainty and confidence in a faithful God who knows me better than I know myself.

“Warning! Pentecostal, Charismatic and happy clappy churches are dangerous. Stay away from them. They are not of the Lord. They will not endure sound doctrine. Deceiving and being deceived. Pretending to have the miraculous gifts that the early church had. Heaping unto themselves teachers having itching ears. They do not try the spirits, whether they are of God. But because they are in a church, they think every spirit must be the Holy spirit. Foolishly seeking supernatural experiences and opening themselves up to the very spirits of the air.”

That’s on the back of one of the tracks I was given about a month ago as I walked down Buchanan Street.

I actually walked up to the guy to say that I thought he was doing a good Job, (because up until then what he was saying over the megaphone or equivalent seemed pretty sound… ‘People of Glasgow… You need Jesus’ sort of stuff. The conversation lasted about 2 minutes. I was told I needed Jesus. When I said I had a personal relationship with Jesus I was told that I didn’t really, and should check myself off with a list of criteria on a billboard not far away. The man then assumed I went to a ‘modern church’ (his words, not mine) and proceeded to tell me how modern churches are of the devil and are demonic.

You can imagine how relieved I was to be walking away from this guy. I walked up to him to say ‘good job’ and encourage him, and walked away thinking ‘IDIOT’.

This makes me sick. Who is he to claim ‘100% sound doctrine’? That’s saying that whatever denomination he follows has the right doxology and everyone else is wrong! Not even that, he slates other churches and calls them demonic? He assumes because I’m young that I’m from a ‘modern church’ and says they’re of the devil?

I am weary of churches who claim to be right above all others. It’s not about who’s got it 100% all out perfect. What does this guy want? Brownie points? The ability to Lord his ‘correct’ doxology over all others?

I don’t look at the other churches in the West end of Glasgow and think… ‘They’re doing that WRONG’, or ‘They’re not true worshippers of God because of the particular way they worship’.

Churches need to stop being Individual churches and be part of THE CHURCH.

I just feel as if we as believers are part of the body of Christ. The body of Christ isn’t just one individual church. It’s all of them put together. So are we being ONE body?

Imagine if all the churches in Glasgow joined together and had joint aims and objectives. Imagine the HUGE impact God through ‘ONE BODY of believers’ could make on the city of Glasgow?

Another blog for another time…

Brian taught on ‘Shortcutting’ this past Sunday at Re:Hope. One of the challenges was to consider whether or not there was any “Have it now” lures in your life at the moment.

I think this is one of my biggest ‘issues’. When I see something I want… I rush straight in. I don’t wait, I’m not patient, I don’t consider the consequences, I don’t consider the people around me, etc.

I’m beginning to understand what God want’s for me, doesn’t involve me necessarily running full steam ahead as soon as I have an opportunity or a target. In other words - Shortcutting. I’m tempted to do things ’my way’ instead of ’God’s way’.

I guess this is one of those things that I’m growing in - learning through mistakes more than anything. I guess it’s not about what I want, or about my ‘timescale’, and my attitude of ’wanting it now’ - even if I feel ‘this’ is part of God’s plan, but about what God wants of me, and where God me to go, and the ‘route’ God wants me to take to get there.

I think it comes back to faith in God as well. Faith in what he’s doing, and what he’ll continue to do. I don’t think God starts something with the intention of not finishing it. I think it’s more a case of… once we see what’s happening… we jump the gun, take the reigns and go off ‘our way’.

I’m a work in progress…

I don’t think I’ve blogged this yet…?

Well… my current Job for North Ayrshire Council as a Peer Support Worker (Youth Worker) ends on the 31st of this month (March). I’ve applied for ‘Community Education’ (and had my interview) at Strathclyde Uni - and I’m going to defer a year… assuming I get accepted!

So… towards the end of April… I’m becoming a full time Re:Hopian. I’m going to be doing the internship, as well as a whole bunch of other stuff - basically working for the church full time.

I’m currently (although slightly later than I intended) raising support, which means I can give pretty much all my time to the church - and means I won’t have to get a part time job. I’ll be living up in Glasgow, although… goodness knows where!?! I’m hoping to ’squat’ at someone’s flat till June-ish…which is when most of the flats change over.

Anyway… It’s the next big adventure. One I feel called to.

(My blog is probably going to become more of a ‘what I’m doing’, as oppose to ‘here’s the stuff I’ve been thinking about’ sort of blog…)

On Monday night I got a text saying my friend - Chris Gaston had died.

You know… I didn’t really know what to think. I was totally lost for words, and had no idea what to say or think. I said I would pray…

Then I found myself in a place I’ve only been once or twice before. The last time was when a close friend had a miscarriage and again I was asked to pray for them. Again I was lost for words, and couldn’t even think of what to say to God. On Monday night, I was thinking something along the lines of ‘How could this happen?’, and ‘Where was God in all this?’.

It was a couple of days later, when I was talking to my friend Scotty… and generally thinking about Chris, and what his family must be going through right at that moment, that I realized it came back to faith.

I don’t think I’ll ever understand some of the stuff that happens. It just won’t ‘compute’ in my head. And you know what… I don’t think I want to. I trust God. I know that He knows best. And I have faith in whatever His plan for my life, and anyone else’s life is.

On Sunday night I saw the most people I’ve ever saw at Re:Hope. I know that Chris packed out a church in N.Ireland. He doubled the congregation at Re:Hope. I see God moving in Re:Hope, through the death of my friend Chris Gaston.

I praise God for the life of my friend Chris Gaston. I’ll miss him, but I also know that Chris is where I want to be… and that I will see him again, and I trust in God’s plan for my life. I trust in the fact that God is in control.

Yesterday I (co)led worship at Re:Hope - for the first time in a long while.

I’ve been struggling with the thought of leading again. I’m not as ‘comfortable’ with my instrument or vocals as I have been before, etc. It’s been even longer since I’ve led with a full band as well - which made things slightly more stressful.

Both the morning and the evening service… I was feeling it. I was nervous. And the practice hadn’t put me at ‘ease’ either… as far as I was concerned, it didn’t feel like we had everything sorted out.

Last night, I remember thinking… It’s good to rely on God. It’s awesome when practice sucks, but when we’re actually worshipping - everything comes together.

It’s refreshing to see Re:Hope from the front too. I’ve not really realized it as much before, but we’ve got passionate people there. People are engaging with God - which sometimes is pretty hard to see from the back.

I think it’s a good thing to find yourself in a place, where you need to rely on God to move…

When planning the last church retreat for Re:Hope, we had the words ‘Fully Now.’ as our flier title. That was the theme for the weekend. I’ve been thinking about it recently…

I hate the idea that I am not living for God as fully as a could be. I’m not following his plan completely. Know what I mean?

It usually bothers me when I have an amazing time worshipping God, and come away feeling great about everything. But then I think… this whole past week, have I even given God one minute?

I compare it to this:

Imagine you have a friend. This friend almost completely ignores you the majority of the time. All you want is to be close with this ‘friend’. There’s maybe one day (a Sunday for example) where you get their full attention. The rest of the week, you’re more of an afterthought, if thought of at all.

My point is… You can’t be the part time ‘Christian’. It doesn’t work. You can’t not read your bible, not commune with God, not spend time with Him all week, and then come Sunday give him your full attention and it’s all ‘fine and dandy’.

It’s insulting. You wouldn’t let a ‘friend’ treat you that way, because if they did… they wouldn’t exactly be a friend now, would they?

Stop treating God as an afterthought. Stop putting TV and MYSPACE before reading your bible and praying.

Start living for God fully now, you know… they way you feel on Sundays sometimes?

Get your priorities sorted.

“Its report predicted that half of all families in Glasgow would be headed by a lone parent eight years from now.”

“there are 170 teenage gangs in Glasgow - the same number as in London, despite Glasgow having just a sixth of the population of the English capital.”

“The proportion of young people not in employment, education or training was about 18% - 50% more than the Scottish average and roughly twice that of Manchester.”

“The critical issues are family breakdown and drug and alcohol abuse - which are very high here, with up to 15-20,000 registered drug users.”

News Report

Porn - whether that’s pictures, videos, etc - gives guy’s false expectations of what a relationship ‘looks like’. They somehow get the impression that once they’re in a relationship, or when they’re married - that’s how it’s going to be.

Porn makes guys think women are something that they’re not.

Pornography: the depiction of acts in a sensational manner so as to arouse a quick intense emotional reaction. (Webster)

This is where I turn the table. Chick flicks and romance novels/stories can and do “arouse a quick, intense emotional reaction”. It’s giving girls a false impression of what a relationship looks like, and how a guy is meant to be. It encourages you (girls that is) to dream of ‘that perfect guy’ and hope for ‘one just like him’.

Seriously… where do you get your idea of what a relationship should look like? (Guys too!). You can say your parents - but that’s a married relationship, not a dating or ‘going out’ relationship.

Guys have to be careful they don’t get unrealistic expectations in what a relationship is going to be like. Girls have to do the exact same.

Guys - stop watching porn for one. And don’t expect that your girlfriend or wife is going to be anything like the ‘pornstar’.

Girls - Be careful you’re not wanting something that doesn’t exist, or at least is very very rare. Life isn’t a fairytale. You’re never going to find a guy with no flaws, shortcomings, or insecurities.

Guard your hearts.